Some days feel like a sprint and a marathon all at once, and it’s easy to get swept up in the chaos. When emotions run high—whether with your kids, your partner, your coworkers—it can feel like you’re just one comment away from snapping. I’ve been there. I still go there.
What I’ve learned over the years, though, is that how I respond in those heated moments matters more than what’s actually happening.
We all have those triggers: the eye rolls, the backtalk, the mess that’s been ignored for the hundredth time. Or maybe it’s a tense conversation at work or a loved one pressing a button you didn’t know still existed. Suddenly, emotion takes over—frustration, anger, hurt—and we react. Often louder than we’d like. Sharper than we meant to. And afterward comes the regret.
I started to notice a pattern—not just in myself, but in those around me. The more I reacted from that initial emotional wave, the worse the situation got. But when I gave myself even a few seconds to pause, breathe, and recalibrate, everything shifted.
Here’s where the science comes in (yes, there’s real neuroscience behind this): emotions are essentially neurohormones—chemical messengers made of amino acids that flood our bodies in reaction to what’s happening around us. It takes about six seconds for those chemicals to fully absorb and begin to dissipate.
Six seconds. That’s it.
Six seconds of silence before snapping.
Six seconds to take a breath instead of firing back.
Six seconds to choose how you want to show up.
And those six seconds? They change everything. Because emotions are contagious—especially for kids, who are still learning how to manage theirs. But it’s true in adult relationships too: our tone, energy, and presence set the temperature in the room.
This doesn’t mean suppressing your feelings or walking on eggshells. It means noticing them, owning them, and choosing how you want to move forward. It means leading with intention rather than reactivity. It means showing up with the kind of emotional presence that makes people feel safe, seen, and respected.
I won’t pretend I get it right all the time. But when I pause—when I take those six seconds—I lead better, parent better, love better. And the ripple effect is powerful.
So next time your buttons get pushed, try it. Six seconds. Breathe. Reflect. Then respond.
It’s not magic. It’s science. And it’s yours to use.
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