More than a decade ago, in the middle of a chaotic weekday morning, I had a moment that has stayed with me ever since.
My girls were little, and like most mornings back then, we were racing against the clock. Danica, eager to help, wanted to make herself a Hot Mama roll—a garlic roll with a name that still makes us laugh. She wanted to do it completely on her own. I said yes… sort of.
As she placed it in the toaster oven and went to push it further back, I jumped in with a sharp “No.” She hesitated. I insisted. She pushed back. And within seconds, a power struggle unfolded—over a garlic roll. It ended with tears. Hers and, if I’m honest, nearly mine too.
Looking back now, I can see so clearly what I couldn’t in the moment: it was never about the roll. It was about control. And my inability, in that split second, to just pause.
If I had taken one deep breath—in through the nose, out through the mouth—I would’ve seen it for what it was: a moment of learning, of confidence-building, of love. Not a battle to win.
That day taught me something simple but powerful. Something I return to often, especially when life feels rushed or relationships feel strained:
Smell the flowers. Blow out the candle. Just breathe.
This little breathing phrase, often taught to kids, has become a mantra I carry into parenting, leadership, and everyday life. Because presence—real, grounded, intentional presence—often starts with something as small as a breath.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about awareness. And grace.
That story, now more than ten years old, is a reminder I still need. Because while the garlic roll moments may look different now, the opportunity to pause, breathe, and respond with love rather than reaction will always be relevant.
So if you’re feeling the pull to fix, to rush, to react—
Take a breath.
Smell the flowers.
Blow out the candle.
And remember: the moment doesn’t need you to be perfect.
It just needs you to be there.
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